I realize that I have a huge catch-22 problem. The more bitter I am, the less people are to listen. The less people listen, the more bitter I am. Futhermore, if I weren’t struggling with this whole ordeal, I would simply walk away and have no need to be heard. This is not fun for me, I did not set out to become a troll.

I also realize that if I put my experiences into Haven language, people might be more receptive.I do not believe in the communication model so I have not done so (ironically, I would also be compromising if I were to do so, and Haven also doesn’t believe in compromise, but people rarely take these ideas and give them serious thought.)

There is a huge problem when all ideas go unquestioned. So when only one view of language, ethics, sexuality, meaning, etc,are presented, people like me who try to offer a different view are easy to ostracize. I have often seen leaders become flustered when anything was challenged. It is not expected and there seems to be a limit on the intellectual scope of ideas.

It probably seems foolish of me to expect to be heard, or expect people to be able to look at a problem from more than one angle, or any of that. I didn’t expect anything, I had no other option but to speak and therefore the consequences weren’t even considered.

Perhaps I knew that if I considered the consequences, I couldn’t possibly go through with it, and years of silence was going to give me a tumour.

Either way I am looking for ways to not care that others do not care. A true rebel will be a whole person regardless.

That said, a true system of honesty and integrity would listen, and a true system of relativism wouldn’t teach only one view.


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