Something (not) like a resolution

Every time I think I have come to a conclusion or resolution, I go backwards. So this time I will do something different, I will set a date.

September 12 is the hearing in Nanaimo for the investigation. I will probably want to comment on that. Then I will be done. Then I will move on, regardless of whether or not I have been heard (I doubt I will have been.)

If you think you’ve got the full story, you haven’t. If this blog has taught you anything, it should be that there is always more.

I do pay attention to blog stats but I got rid of Google Analytics ages ago because it got way too creepy and obsessive (I could pin down individuals sometimes, if their data was unique enough.)

One day the story will come out in a different form. One day I will not need invisible super anti-hero pajamas.

But I am starting to sound like I am coming to a resolution again.

For those of you who have supported me, I deeply appreciate it. For those of you who haven’t, no one will be able to say no one told you. I doubt you will again do a so-called work/study, or again let a kid do a phase, or again insult rape victims or racial minorities, but I know that you will continue on with other patterns because I am watching you do so now. And because change requires acknowledgment. Now where have I heard that before?

It has now been a year since I broke free, 9 months since I reported a counsellor, and 4 months since I went public. Seems like more than enough time to move on but remember, it was moving on from a lifetime.

I recall in detox when I was expecting too much, a worker would always ask me how long I had been clean. A few days, I would say. Then she would ask how long I had been using. This conversation happened during a few different detox visits, so the years changed… But always years compared to days.

My Haven history runs deeper than heroin. A year is really not very long.

For now, I have a new play to write.

I recall one of the quotes that started this–what else can you do? You can’t do anything else!

I guess we will find out.

PS on September 12, don’t let me say that I have a resolution. We know how that will go. Let’s call it an intermission. Sometime in the fall I will also hear from the new complaint task force, and discover the findings of the (separate) hearing/investigation, so it may be naive…

Just an intermission. That is all. Even I can handle that.


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