So What?

Well after a month of waiting, I finally received a letter in reply to my last letter from the Haven board. Again, the avoidance of facing the issue and the hypocrisy is almost unbearable.

It says that I could have and should have gone through the appropriate channels for ethical complaints and that there are no conflicts of interest embedded in these, and that they are more than willing to discuss those that may exist.

From what I know of how Haven functions, this is beyond untrue. None of the people listed to contact are people who have listened to me in the past and it states that informal discussion is the best way to resolve matters (with no attention to roles of power.) Furthermore, there is a time limit on complaints, and they promise no action for those not currently involved with the institution (beyond absurd for an institution that takes on individuals in short periods of time.) So suggesting that this is something available to me, they know, is absurd.

I have documented proof that other associations have declared much of what happened as unethical. I have documented proof of illegal activity. Really, Haven, what more could it take?

Nothing I have stated is a well kept secret. Almost every leader I have had contact with knew all I have revealed in this blog, far before I revealed it publicly. The more time passes, the more institutional the lack of ethics seems. Which means I can have more faith in individuals, but I have only lost faith in the institution over time. Not an easy thing to face about a place I once so respected.

I am writing here because I will go nuts if I try to continue any correspondance with them. All I want is to be acknowledged or listened to. I have been honest, vulnerable, brave… I lost almost my entire world… I have only revealed what everyone knows and will not discuss.

One day people will listen to me the way they listen to those in power at Haven. Until then, hear it now, I am here, I have suffered, and this, quite frankly, is utter bullshit. I would rather not receive a letter than receive one so devoid of humanity and honesty.

Look up the complaint process if you like. That is not how Haven operates and even in its stated intent is highly lacking…

Really, who could I have gone to? The time frame is up, and at least six leaders and a few directors knew everything I have stated here and showed no interest. Indeed, the Director of Interns would tell me, So what?

That is a direct quote–

So what?

I felt invisible for years, but now my invisibility is so visible that I am shaking.

How’s that for honesty?

I am not going anywhere.

The previous letter I received critisized me for speaking publicly and expressed no interest in my experiences whatsoever.

So what? So my experiences matter, and I repeat myself only so that I do not fall prey to your message that they do not.

I matter. What happened matters.

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